WHY GOD SENDS HLHS BABIES

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you." He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you. Will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work." But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks, "Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you will. I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says, "When you are born your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart. Enjoy your time with your family play and laugh everyday, and when it's time to come back to heaven I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken just torn between two loves."

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Split between two places

So I've been home now for three days with my other kids while Kenzen is still in Minnesota. It has been great to be home and spend time with my other kids but it is hard not being able to be in Minnesota for Kenzen. He is still doing really well they got him off of all his blood pressure medicine and they started feeding him the portagen formula a few nights ago. They are slowly working on getting him off the ventilator. They tried the other day but they went to fast on dropping how much support he was getting and he didn't tolerate that well so they had to bump the support back up. Now they are going to go a lot slower to let him adjust a little bit easier. The only medication he is on now is aspirin, diuretics, pain meds, and a medicine that helps his heart pump better. They will hopefully get him of that medicine in a little while and he will be on the aspirin and diuretics when he comes home. I'm nervous about him getting off the pain meds because he could end up going through withdrawals because he's been on it for so long. I hope for his sake he doesn't have a problem with that. A lot of people have asked me how big he is now and he is not any bigger then he was when he was born he might even weigh a little bit less. We are hoping now that he is getting food into his stomach through a feeding tube that he will start growing. With regards to needing a pacemaker he seems to be doing a lot better so I'm hoping his heart rate drops had to do with being premature and it's looking like that's what caused it so hopefully he won't need one. I will be going back out on May 14 to be with him until the end of May but it's going to be hard to leave my other kids and I know that they will have a hard time with it. If he is still in the hospital in June then we are all going to go out and spend a couple of weeks out there. I'm hoping he will be able to come home towards the end of May or at least be sent back to Primary's but he seems to be moving a little bit slower on recovering so we'll just have to see how he does.
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